BRATs Kajang 2008 Journal

Just completed a 4D3N camp with the Star BRATs journalism programme at Kajang Country Heights Resort. It started at 1p.m and I was already there by 12 noon. A total of 43 participants were selected out of approximately 300 applications. And I guess I was the oldest one at 19. When all the ice breaking began, All in all, it was an amazing experience, I even expanded my contacts list by a huge margin. Started off on Saturday, we were introduced to various techniques of journalism and photograpghy, I managed to capture a few heart stopping images as well. Thanks to my Canon EOS450D, which certainly lived up to its tagline of 'delighting you always', was the star attraction at the workshop. Everyone was praising its accuracy and clarity of shots, and taking turns to have a go at it. We were very well fed at the resort, our villas had 3 rooms each, with spacious living rooms and ample room for beds, with a villa easy accommodating 8 people at a time. On Saturday, we were mostly given an overall preview of what was to be expected in the next few days. We got to test our photography skills, basic instructions etc. We paired with our respective groups, I was selected as Editor, and I suggested to name our team BRATs Republic, after my favourite band OneRepublic, and everyone was happy at that. With 9 people in a group including a senior BRAT, we knew teamwork was vital. Albert, Sue Ann, Samantha, me and Chern Yao were the ones who got along pretty well with each other.

Sunday we were off to a flying start, visiting Kajang town and reporting on things happening there, we were so scrambling for an hour there, we virtually weren't aware of what to do, just interviewed any random Tom, Dick, and Harry on the street. We entered churches, the market and a dancing centre, interviewed several people along the way, all in just a freaking hour! Guess thats the life of an aspiring journalist, learning to meet deadlines. The videos that we took were really just amateur stuff, nothing to brag about, but at least we worked hard for our team and it was just a learning process for us, steep learning curve as some would put it. Next day , there was more installed for us, we were scheduled to visit a palm oil estate, sudden change of plan because the other team who was scheduled to visit a prison in Kajang, did not have their IDs, so they switched with us, we got to go to prison! I was a bit uneasy at the idea at first thought, the journey there had an uneasy air of anticipation, not knowing what to expect from the visit. Entering the compound itself was an eye opener, had a sense of uneasiness in the atmosphere. Security was tight, inmates weren't allow to come near us, as the security personnel feared for our safety. The scariest part of all was seeing an inmate being led to the death row, where the death penalty was to be meted out, sentenced to hang. Cameras weren't allowed in, I was grateful at that, because had the cop in charge took my camera to snap pictures, they would surely have to confiscate my memory card temporarily to assist in their filtering process. All in all, I was glad BR went to prison instead of some palm oil estate, at least it makes me think twice now before committing a crime. One of the teachers there from NGOs even gave me a quote that I'll never forget, "It the law knew everything we did outside, we would be inside prison already

Rushing to meet deadlines were a norm for us throughout the workshop. We had to edit videos, make photo essays and sound slides on how the workshop went, etc. Occasional tempers did flare between members, but overall, we treated each other like the best of friends. Between all 4 groups, I think ours were the most laid back one, often laughing more than frowning. I used to be able to eat a lot while I'm at home, but due to some reason, I could not fill my stomach to the full, despite the array of food available there, I have to admit, there was never once we felt hungry. Meeting the senior men behind the scenes like Harry and Ian were amazing. They were out of this world, constantly making us laugh, and their company was truly unforgettable. I couldn't have asked for more. I even fell for a girl I knew I wasn't suppose to, but what the heck. We all had a great time. Come Monday night, nobody was planning of getting to bed early as it was our last day at the resort. Me and a few guys ventured to other girls rooms, to 'complete' assignments, as I saw her laid down on the bed fast asleep, I knew I wasn't motivated for anything else that night, so I just turned myself in back to my room reluctantly, hoping to see her for one last time tomorrow before all of us parted ways. We had our fair share of fun throughout, I'm even famous for a game I lost consecutively, on and on again. We had performances by each 4 groups, a traditional thing before the closing ceremony. Our group did the imitation thing, where we would imitate the characters of the people who stood out the most in camp. They were Niki, Nicholas a.k.a Nicole, Matthew (our senior BRAT) and many others. A wonderful and humorous experience by all 4 groups, but the best performance was probably the Indian monk with the distribution of a will that really caught our attention.

Tuesday morning, D-Day, last day, final day, call it whatever you want, today's our last day of an amazing experience, everybody's like asking their friends to write in their notepads, sort of like death note, *smiles*. I did something so foolish, that probably I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my life. I confessed to Sam, she didn't like it one bit, but I just couldn't control it. Stupid, stupid, stupid! How I wish I could turn back time. But I really liked her, was the girl of my dreams, like a movie character that came to life, simply stunning. I will never forget her, even though she said she was seeing someone else, as I said, to me, she'll only be that movie character that came to life and disappeared when the movie ended. And she's leaving for HK soon, and I played my cards wrongly, too fast. At the wrong place at the wrong time, hope I learn from this painful mistake. The journey back home for me was the most miserable I had felt in years, having to part ways with her. I tried hiding my emotions so that no one will notice, however, some did. Seeing her leave the resort was oh so painful. When I was driving back, my mind wasn't on the road, but was somewhere else, memories of me and her, sitting in the bus together on our assignments, having satay together where she'd pose for me, completing assignments together, I mean, I just grew so close to her, maybe there was where I fumbled, submerging myself right into her, like feeding myself into a lion's den. I had never felt so sad in years, the last time I remembered I went 2 days without smiling was when Dad died, but now, I'm determined to lose her out of my mind, before I slowly lose mine. I was too busy occupied thinking about her, that I almost slammed my car into others several times. But damn it Stewart, lose her or risk losing yourself! After all, we're still friends and nothing will ever change that. I wish her the best of luck in HK *sob sob*:(. I'm gonna miss her so badly, I'm already missing her since Tuesday. Hope that when she comes back from HK, something could materialise.